The breaking forth of a new day has been established.

As I search for answers hiking up into the mountain I am reminded of what Christ had to feel in the desert. The heat from the gravel and dust dries my throat making it hard to swallow. Yet the noise of the world keeps hacking at my hart tempting me to give up. The thief is playing his cards well. He bluffs as a master gambler that Hope has been lost. Then his accusations taunting me; You have chosen wrong!

A grasshopper flies from out of nowhere and slams into my chest, knocking me back to reality. The years the locusts have eaten, Father reminds me.

I will not give up. I cannot give up. Who am I without you Lord? Not even a vapour in the wind.

I swallow hard against the stamina taste in my throat and press on. I have to reach the river! I can hear the rumbling of the water. The warm wind from the mountain causes my knees so bend. Out of breath I kneel to a halt.

Be still and know I AM. Put your ear to the ground. Do you hear the drone of the water? Like the hooves of my warring horses coming. I have given my warrior angles command to storm the land. Fire blazing ahead of them as it purifies. Humble yourselves and turn from your wicked ways oh mountain land. Confess your sins and I will heal your land. Every knee shall bow, every tongue confess that I am the God. The Great I AM. Only those that have chosen shelter in the wings of the Most High will survive. My fire will consume the land and purify every inch of it.

A deep sorrow begins to grow, breaking loose within my bones, as I stare at the people of the land in bondage. How would you know you are lost if you are blind and all else with you are lost?


As the months after pass the aching in my bones grows. Waking up wishing it was night. Going to bed wishing it was day. The compassion Christ has for the hurting lies like anguish in my bones, growing as a child in a mother’s womb. Then He starts to unfold the journey. Taking me deep into the desert where He shows me my wild heart.Only a wild heart could love a rebel. He loves me without predisposition and limit.

But He loves you Rebel”, I plead with her to be heard, but Rebel is out of ears reach.

Everywhere I look I see her. Where could she be? Will she be lost forever? Could one love letter from Father have struck a chord?

Struggling to understand the incomprehensible rude awakening of headless saints anger builds as laws made to help the helpless is the very reason the helpless could not be helped. Systems build on man-made laws imprisoning the innocent and rewarding the criminal. The endless “Redtape” repeating the first offence a multitude of times.

Be still and know I AM. I have come to set the prisoners free and heal the brokenhearted. Study My days spent her on earth. Do not accept what is visible. Rules bring bondage. I have come to demolish works and rules and establish Love. Love Me as I love you. Dig your roots deep into my living water and the fruit will follow. I will bless you. Accept and grab hold of the covenants I have made with you. Do not accept what is visible as truth. As your faith grows you must command the mountain in My name to throw itself in the sea. I seek an honest heart. I require a broken spirit. Only then can My Holy Spirit shine into its fullest light.

Frustrated at my own inapt abilities I search the mountain for answers. Weak and tired I lay at His feet, not fully understanding His vision and what my part is to play. As He aligns my passions with His my own self dies. He fills me with His compassion. The hurt intensifies as the anguish in my bones grows as a child in a mother’s womb. The glimpse of the amounts of His compassion He has is so intense it will kill a human. Only just as I begin to understand His vision and my role to play does reality land on my front door.

I knew it was there, but I did not think it was right there. Healing starts at the home!

Again I say; Humble yourselves and turn from your wicked ways oh mountain land. Confess your sins and I will heal your land. This had to happen for you to fully understand My will my daughter. For what you have thought to be the end was only the beginning. I had to teach you the land you will serve for you were from a foreign land. You learned your lesson well; now remember it in days to come. Seek My face every minute of every day. Speak not of your own accord, but only the words I give unto you. I will open the road you need to tread now. Even though you cannot see where you are going, go and take the branch of spring blossoms with you. I have given it to you making a new covenant as I heard your hearts passion. You will come to my throne as a queen. When lay down your crown at My feet I will reward you with your heart’s desire. I will save your land. Have faith in Me, I have come to heal the brokenhearted and set the captives free. I am the Great I Am.

Would I have taken such notice had the physical pain not felt as intense?

Oh! Father keeps my heart pure! Search me my Lord and teach me your ways. For I know not who I am without You the Lover of my Soul.



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Louie Giglio & the Passion Team are coming to South Africa!!

Louie Giglio & the Passion Team are coming to South Africa!!.

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will you ask me to dance my Lord?

My heart o Lord sings praise to You

as ‘n guitarist fingers find their own way about the strings

so my heart finds its rhythm into your pace

My mind o Lord sings praise to You

as a dancer’s feet moves to steps will learnt

so my mind conform to your kind ways taught

My soul o Lord hungers for You

as the vineyards roots dig deeper for water

so my soul thirsts for you my Lord

Do You not understand my Lord?

I cannot breathe without your breath

It hurts when you hide your face from me

Father, You promised

When I call you will answer, you will quickly reply

“Here I am”

Jesua come quickly and be my only judge

For only you my Lord is fair

Jesua come quickly and give provision

For only you my Lord has heavens filled with precious treasures

Jesua come quickly and strengthen my weakness

For only you my Lord can make a mountain move

Do not let my cries go unheard Father

Do not let them treat your daughter this way

Please Jesua; teacher and redeemer

Come, come quickly Lord, I’ll hold my breath till I see you my Lord

For You are my King!



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Highway 140km/h

My dearest friends

Clueless! I feel clueless. Seems I went to bed in my own room and woke up on the highway at 140km/h. What just happened?

Thought I signed up for Peace Corps and now in middle of a raging war! Drop, shoot, run, jump, loophole, backflip,….no to the other side! Faster girl, you running to slow!

After just one week back at school-routine I am so exhausted my toaster’s springs just refuses to pop me out a bed each morning! Maybe I need a new toaster?

Ever tried to pick up Bokradio in Grabouw? AIn’t gonna happen!

“Kaptein span die chhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, kaptein shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, daar oor die  chhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

What on earth is this dude on about? Is his ship sinking or what is he trying to sing?

And that is just what is happened to me this week. My volume button was turned to full blast by the world and the song was braking up.

But oh what peace does one find when seeking shelter in the wings of the Most High!

I smile, listen and then thank the Lord I at least know Him, love Him and He can raise His voice above the worlds noise!

Lots of love


Lilies and Lace ;-D


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Sitting under the big oak tree on the patchwork picnic blanket with my faded pair of jeans on I start humming the old song.

Baby let the blue jeans talk…..

My blue jeans! Well!

Parts has been ripped, parts worn out with some stains and bleached spots

But the older the jeans, the better they wear until…….

The fabric gets so worn out a new hole just seem to appear everyday

That is when you need to take the scissors and start cutting them into blocks

Not just the jeans, I thought! I get so brave I grab all the old cloths and fabrics and start cutting

And there I start to see it!

Forming a track of memories… Some good, some bad, some sad…

And I realise

My life is a patchwork blanket

Patchwork so finely sewed together that only because there are so many different shades, textures and colours does it make my patchwork life-blanket so special.

This piece was an expensive dress, but saving it for a special occasion caused the fabric to perish

This was a new shirt, but the stain spoiled it

This dress Ouma bought me but the white dress is now yellow

This jeans was the pair on honeymoon in the Bushveld

This shirt I ripped while climbing the waterfall

This skirt I wore when my dog had puppies

O yes! This was a school dance dress….

Dropping the heap of cut pieces on the work table I realised what I lot of work I made for myself


Now, it is a heap of cut pieces of old fabric, scraps, but if sewn together it could be the memory lane patchwork blanket I will lie on under the big oak tree dreaming of what has been, is now and could be.

This is what God does with my life

He cuts out all the best pieces of my live over the years. Throwing the rips and stains out and using the rest to sew the most unique and special patchwork blanket.

The old rags He turned into a colourful soft inviting blanket under to big oak tree.

As I lay there with my kids staring up at the clouds and telling jokes I realise the role I now play in their patchwork blanket being sewed by God.

At the moment, this heartache just looks like another piece of old scrap fabric, but once it is sewn in and part of the big patchwork blanket it fits so perfectly it only makes the blanket more unique.

Who is sewing your blanket? Do you trust your designer enough to allow him or her to cut and sew the irreplaceable memories in just the right design together?

I pray Father you sew our patchwork blankets.

With love

Ripped Jeans xo

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GoGirl South Africa Overcoming Abuse God’s Way

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Thinking about the antique vase, it is most beautiful. The problem was that it was full of small cracks. It would not hold water any longer. Therefore to buy it for the purpose of being a vase for flowers would just do no good.

Staring at the vase a unique idea came to mind. If I were to light a candle inside the vase the light would shine through the cracks and make for a stunning display on the dinner table. Warm, glowing and inviting.

Then I remembered I always thought of my life as a cracked vase. No longer watertight due to bumps, bruises and mistakes. But if you live at all there is only guarantee, you will encounter bumps, bruises and mistakes. To avoid any cracks the vase will have to be put in a display case out of harm’s way and not be used at all for the purpose it was made for. Then in 80 years everyone will be amazed at the stunning vase and how well it is preserved, but the vase will have never had purpose other than only being a wallflower. The vase will feel empty and useless.

What to do? Risk cracks and live life or wallflower and miss out?

Staring at the light the strangest idea came to mind. That is exactly what I am beginning to look like. Without the candle lit inside I am just an old cracked vase. But because Jesus has lit His Holy Spirit light inside me I am an interesting stunning display! The light plays through the cracks and gives light to many around the table. It is lovely to stare at and peaceful, warm and inviting.

Through the blood of Jesus my weakness has become my strength. Because of my cracks can His perfect light shine to all around me. For without Him I would be nothing.

Don’t be afraid to try, it is worth the try! Jesus will fill the cracks!

1 Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain.

Galatians 6:9  Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up

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