As I search for answers hiking up into the mountain I am reminded of what Christ had to feel in the desert. The heat from the gravel and dust dries my throat making it hard to swallow. Yet the noise of the world keeps hacking at my hart tempting me to give up. The thief is playing his cards well. He bluffs as a master gambler that Hope has been lost. Then his accusations taunting me; You have chosen wrong!
A grasshopper flies from out of nowhere and slams into my chest, knocking me back to reality. The years the locusts have eaten, Father reminds me.
I will not give up. I cannot give up. Who am I without you Lord? Not even a vapour in the wind.
I swallow hard against the stamina taste in my throat and press on. I have to reach the river! I can hear the rumbling of the water. The warm wind from the mountain causes my knees so bend. Out of breath I kneel to a halt.
Be still and know I AM. Put your ear to the ground. Do you hear the drone of the water? Like the hooves of my warring horses coming. I have given my warrior angles command to storm the land. Fire blazing ahead of them as it purifies. Humble yourselves and turn from your wicked ways oh mountain land. Confess your sins and I will heal your land. Every knee shall bow, every tongue confess that I am the God. The Great I AM. Only those that have chosen shelter in the wings of the Most High will survive. My fire will consume the land and purify every inch of it.
A deep sorrow begins to grow, breaking loose within my bones, as I stare at the people of the land in bondage. How would you know you are lost if you are blind and all else with you are lost?
As the months after pass the aching in my bones grows. Waking up wishing it was night. Going to bed wishing it was day. The compassion Christ has for the hurting lies like anguish in my bones, growing as a child in a mother’s womb. Then He starts to unfold the journey. Taking me deep into the desert where He shows me my wild heart.Only a wild heart could love a rebel. He loves me without predisposition and limit.
“But He loves you Rebel”, I plead with her to be heard, but Rebel is out of ears reach.
Everywhere I look I see her. Where could she be? Will she be lost forever? Could one love letter from Father have struck a chord?
Struggling to understand the incomprehensible rude awakening of headless saints anger builds as laws made to help the helpless is the very reason the helpless could not be helped. Systems build on man-made laws imprisoning the innocent and rewarding the criminal. The endless “Redtape” repeating the first offence a multitude of times.
Be still and know I AM. I have come to set the prisoners free and heal the brokenhearted. Study My days spent her on earth. Do not accept what is visible. Rules bring bondage. I have come to demolish works and rules and establish Love. Love Me as I love you. Dig your roots deep into my living water and the fruit will follow. I will bless you. Accept and grab hold of the covenants I have made with you. Do not accept what is visible as truth. As your faith grows you must command the mountain in My name to throw itself in the sea. I seek an honest heart. I require a broken spirit. Only then can My Holy Spirit shine into its fullest light.
Frustrated at my own inapt abilities I search the mountain for answers. Weak and tired I lay at His feet, not fully understanding His vision and what my part is to play. As He aligns my passions with His my own self dies. He fills me with His compassion. The hurt intensifies as the anguish in my bones grows as a child in a mother’s womb. The glimpse of the amounts of His compassion He has is so intense it will kill a human. Only just as I begin to understand His vision and my role to play does reality land on my front door.
I knew it was there, but I did not think it was right there. Healing starts at the home!
Again I say; Humble yourselves and turn from your wicked ways oh mountain land. Confess your sins and I will heal your land. This had to happen for you to fully understand My will my daughter. For what you have thought to be the end was only the beginning. I had to teach you the land you will serve for you were from a foreign land. You learned your lesson well; now remember it in days to come. Seek My face every minute of every day. Speak not of your own accord, but only the words I give unto you. I will open the road you need to tread now. Even though you cannot see where you are going, go and take the branch of spring blossoms with you. I have given it to you making a new covenant as I heard your hearts passion. You will come to my throne as a queen. When lay down your crown at My feet I will reward you with your heart’s desire. I will save your land. Have faith in Me, I have come to heal the brokenhearted and set the captives free. I am the Great I Am.
Would I have taken such notice had the physical pain not felt as intense?
Oh! Father keeps my heart pure! Search me my Lord and teach me your ways. For I know not who I am without You the Lover of my Soul.